Thursday, January 18, 2007
11:40 PM
so, the first day of J1 life.
skipped PE.
went up to 215 class..
chatted with lijun.
ah yu.. cried. T.T
don't know what to do at that point of time.
my new class is.. kind of boring.
knew 2 new girls, Vivien and Eleanor.
they're quite nice.
watched death note 2 with twins + ching may.
great show, i really liked L.
don't really know what to blog about...
but i just can say,
there are a lot of things i'm pushing back down.
feelings.
thoughts.
it don't feel good.
feel terrible, actually.
but to survive?
i still gotta get thru all this, i know.
so for now just in class,
i'll be a bit more quiet.
just listen to lessons.
learn.
shan hong still can't accept it from what i see..
he feels really sian.
don't i?
i don't know how to talk to my mum now already..
i heard her saying today..
'haiya.. ah mei ar.. bu dong zen me ban'
[don't know what to do]
i don't think i'll be talking much to my family these days.
i'll keep a distance from them.
i told my mum i wanted to quit pastamania.
she kept quiet,
than asked me to work for 1 or 2 more months than quit.
i kept quiet.
so that's what i will do.
i will not cry in front of my friends or my family..
if i were to cry.
i'll lock myself up in the room, and cry, alone.
i don't feel good..
although i know i deserve it.
i didn't want this to happen either.
right now i also don't know who to talk to.
i'll just let it all out, soon.
than i'll put a great smile on my face.
things will get better..
i hope.
i really hope.
make more new friends.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;
